“How was your weekend?” asked Stacie, a teller at my bank.
“It wasn’t was great,” I stammered, pushing the deposit envelope just a bit. I had to quit doing my banking on Mondays or Tuesdays. The tellers always asked about my weekend.
I would try to change the topic, but these people are very persistent. “Did you do something exciting? Stacie would press on.
“Yes, I did.” I was in trouble now. I had nothing interesting to tell her.
“What was it?”
“Stacie, I’ll take the cash I just withdrew in three, fifty-dollar bills,” I instructed her, hoping to reduce the time of the financial transaction and thus shorten the length of the mini-interrogation. But maybe I should have taken all singles, thus giving me more time to think. I knew I had just had a weekend; I just couldn’t remember what I did during it.
The bank employees were only trying to be friendly, but they are all in their 20s and probably had a rip-roaring Friday and Saturday night. The truth is that for me, simply getting a little dough out of my checking account is about the peak of my adrenalin rush for the week.
For a few weeks I tried telling the absolute truth, so when Stacie asked me about my weekend on a Monday, I’d say: We watched ‘Blue Bloods’ on Friday night, made a stop at Sam’s Club on Saturday to pick up one of their awesome barbecue chickens, watched ‘Meet the Press’ on Sunday morning, and that evening went to MCL about 4:30 for the baked tilapia. Then Stacie would give me the money I had withdrawn, but she probably also wanted to give me a hug and a cane or go with me to MCL to blow on my soup.
That’s when I decided to go to the bank on Fridays, assuming that the previous weekend was too far in the past for the staff to inquire about. But then Stacie questioned whether I had any big plans for the coming two days. I was honest again. I told her: We planned to watch “Blue Bloods” on Friday night, make a stop at Sam’s Club on Saturday to pick up one of their awesome barbecue chickens, watch “Meet the Press” on Sunday and then head over to MCL about 4:30 for the baked tilapia.
The expression on her face was not only sympathy for my pitiful weekend plans, but it showed her terror that one day she would be a senior citizen too, and this was what she had to look forward to. Later that day, I told Mary Ellen that we had a responsibility to cheer up this young lady about the prospect of getting older, even if it meant shading the truth a bit.
“So, Mary Ellen, how about if I tell her we’re talking about going skiing in Colorado?”
“Wow, that is a great idea, Dick. We haven’t gone skiing — let me think about this — ever. So, are we really going now?”
“No, of course not, but like I said, we will talk about it, maybe on the way to pick up that awesome chicken.
So last week I chatted with Stacie about skiing, but we mostly made small talk about the weather and how my dog was doing. I do think the bank should show interest. But only in principal.
Columns
Related Photos
-
Dick Wolfsie
Reader comments
How was your weekend?
- Columns
-
-
Is that all?
“Are you people actually arguing over a doughnut?” my teenage daughter inquired from the backseat.
-
They’ve got my number
For the longest time, I had a label on my cellphone displaying the mobile number so if I lost the device the person who found it could call me. I realized how incredibly dumb this was when I left it at Ace Hardware one day and when I finally went back and found it, I had 24 messages from people who wanted me to know that it was “right here” in Lawn and Garden by the azaleas.
-
A tribute to my mentor, friend
I am often asked how I got started writing a weekly column. Many folks assume that I have a degree in journalism, and that this gig is something I picked up on the way to a more serious newspaper career.
-
Hitting the Wall
Sometimes when I am trying to think of an idea for my column, I just stare at the wall. That’s not a bad thing, because on the wall in my home office is a collection of special pieces of memorabilia that inspire me to write, reminding me of the talented people I have had the privilege to meet ...
-
Flexibility act would work over families
Another bit of legislation ostentatiously framed as support for families has slithered out of the House of Representatives by a pretty-much party-line vote, with lamentable support from Rep. Todd Rokita, R-Much of Boone County.
-
Guests at a Belizean happy ever after
Due to the hubs’ work, we have been to Belize many times over the past seven years. Two particular families have extended incredible hospitality to us, and always welcome us with open arms.
Last month, we were overjoyed to hear that these two families would be united as their adult children had fallen in love. They said it was my fault. Apparently, I had inadvertently played cupid. -
Understanding bird calls over lunch with a friend
One afternoon in 2011, my friend Eric spent a couple of hours over lunch explaining Twitter to me and I thought I understood it all, but as you’ll see from my first few tweets, I wasn’t very confident.
-
Solitary moments
As a writer and TV reporter I have received praise and criticism of my work. Over the years, I have tried to benefit from both, but some recent feedback came from an unlikely source. It has been quite a joyful learning experience for me. So on a serious note this week…
-
A blast from the past
We had been warned by the school counselor not to do it the first year of college because it could emotionally scar our daughter. But she is now wrapping up her second year, and will be doing an international internship for the entire summer.
-
The right to bear lawn equipment
I have never aerated my lawn. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever written the word “aerated” before. If I did I am sure I misspelled it. I think I accidentally went from liquefy to aerate while making a strawberry shake in our blender.
-
Raw: Texas Deputy Shot by Colo. Suspect Honored
Major Detours Following Wash. Bridge Collapse
American Held in Grisly Czech Murders
Raw: Jersey Shore Reopens for Summer
UK-bound Pakistan Plane Diverted, 2 Men Arrested
Officials: Tsarnaev Friend Linked to Slaying
Obama:Sexual Assault Threatens Trust in Military
Bridge Collapse Survivor: 'Rough Day'
Jersey Shore Open for Business
Raw: Memorial Day Flags Placed at Arlington
New Wheelchair Lift Promises More Access
First Person: Mom Discusses Famous Tornado Photo
Raw Video: Washington State Bridge Collapse
Boy Scouts Approve Plan to Accept Gay Boys
Officials: Truck Hit Bridge Before Collapse
Sheriff: No Sign Killing of 2 Kids Was Planned
Obama Defends Drone Strikes, With Limits
Raw: Jurors Deadlock on Jodi Arias Penalty
Boy Scouts Decision "First Step" Say Activists
Raw: Utah Teen Arrested in Death of His Brothers
