I have been involved in a number of international relationships. Most have been friendly, even though at times words have been exchanged. I don’t always know what these words mean, but that’s what happens when you play games online with people from all over the world.
I begin by logging into a website called Lexulous. This is basically Scrabble, but that’s a copyrighted name, so the company had to create a new moniker. To further distinguish themselves, players are provided eight letters to work with instead of seven. Longtime aficionados said this was scandalous; however, they were advised by attorneys not to call it that, because Scandalous is already the name of a naughty word game.
I don’t know anything about the people I am playing against — not even their gender. Everyone picks a “handle” and it’s hard to tell, for example, if FlirtyMonkey is a man or a woman. Same with DeadParrot or InYourFace. Competitors can also pick from a selection of clip-art images to accompany their names. Some are clearly male or female, but it’s tough to tell the sex of a dog or cat or hermit crab, even for biology majors. Although it shouldn’t really matter, there are a handful of words I try to avoid if I think I am playing a lady. Unless it is FlirtyMonkey.
Participants garner the most points by defeating a higher-ranked player. Losing to someone with a lower standing means a rapid descent to the bottom. That’s why very few are interested in connecting with me, because if I ended up getting lucky, I’d ruin their reputation. This is pretty much what happened to me throughout high school.
Sometimes the Internet connection is lost, and I might not realize it. So, I sit patiently waiting for my challenger’s next move, when he may already be out the door, downing a Guinness at one of those quaint Irish pubs. When this happens, Mary Ellen can hear me in the basement becoming increasingly agitated.
“What’s the matter down there, Dick?”
“No one wants to play me, Mary Ellen.”
“Even your imaginary friends?”
While I am supposed to be focusing on winning, there is the option to “talk” with my opponent. Some players enjoy the social aspect of the game and they’ll email a note like “GL,” which I finally realized means Good Luck and not Get Lost. TY is thank you, of course. But it took me several games to figure out that IHLL means I Have Lousy Letters. If you compliment someone for a well-fought round, you’d say GG (Good Game), and the appropriate response is U2.
When I am playing Lexulous, I’m usually still on my first cup of coffee so I’m really not in the mood for this abbreviated chit chat. If I’m going to get my butt kicked in a game where correct spelling is required, I don’t want to waste time deciphering IF2P. Which I now know means that HUNKY709 had to leave his computer and go potty.
Last week, just for fun, I sent my newest competitor a note with a random combination of letters: HJUTRDIY.
I got an immediate reply: YSDRGHDFU.
Not sure what Shakey357 was saying, but I don’t like the way that conversation ended.
Finally, I’d like to say, IHYETC, which means: I Hope You Enjoyed This Column. As if you didn’t know.
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